4 posts from February 2008

I have been feeling very sluggish lately and I am thinking it is because of my diet.. OR LACK THEREOF. Lately instead of grocery shopping Brandon and I have been eating out so that we are not pouring our money into groceries that his mom and sister eat before we've had a chance to. Eating out used to be like a treat for us but now its like an everyday thing.. and man do I feel plump. My energy level is WAY low and my waist is getting way BIG .. hahaha. I am contemplating making some overall diet changes.. I have been reading a lot about cutting dairy out of your diet.. About veganism.. and about overall eating habits.

I dont really know the best way to approach this but I know that I am serious and I want to make some changes.

On another note..

There was a huge freakout in the office today and it was actually quite scary.. All I could hear from my office was "Fucking pissing me off.. stupid bitch." and then the door slammed.

Wow, working the 9- 5 sure gets a little crazy.

xoxo,

kiki

I am so stressed out lately but I doubt that anyone would even be able to tell. We are moving in 9 days! And Brandon hasnt even started packing.. I was packed a month ago thats what kind of a freak I am. We have so much to move. I am so worried about it. Things with my little brother are up in the air again. I am trying to convince him he needs to go to Hawaii and see my mom and relax and surf and just start over but ITS LIKE I HAVE TO FORCE HIM TO GO. Have you ever heard of that? Forcing someone to take a Hawaiian vacay? The fact that he is so agaisnt leaving makes me think that he is still using.. he has nothing here except for his friends.. He has no job.. no money.. he's in alot of debt from the hospital bills.. its just sad and I am hoping that he will make the decision to go to Hawaii if nothing else but for a little extended vacation.  My grandmother husband, whom I have never really thought of as my grandpa because no one could ever replace him (he was amazing I will tell you about him some day) just found out he has about 6 weeks to live. Lung cancer is a bitch. No, cancer is a bitch. 

Okay, so I am in a bit of a pickle.. please give me some advice.. As you may or may not know I moved in with Brandon and his mom at the end of September. Things were just not going well with my parents and I needed to get out. Brandon and I were going to save money while paying his mother $300 a month in rent and buying our own groceries. The bedroom we live in is TINY.. and I can only fit about 1/8 of my clothes in the closet .. so therefore I havent moved anything but the necessities from my parents house and have basically been living out of a suitcase since September. While, in about November I get a call at work from my boyfriend saying his mom had increased out rent $100. He said it was to pay for the difference in the electric bill etc. I was pissed at first but then decided that I should just let it go.. sure we were paying $400 now to rent a TINY ASS room but it would be worth it in the end if we can just save save save our money! So now we are a little over a week away from moving out and yesterday I come home to see this piece of paper on the table that has some bullshit calculations on it saying we owe her $400 more dollars for the electric bills from Dec, Jan and Feb. WHAT THE F*CK. I was just so pissed.. BUT heres the kicker... Brandon's mom isn't working .. shes on unemployment and has been since July 07. She is PERFECTLY capable of working but doesnt want to.. I feel like she is being money hungry and trying to get all she can out of us before we leave and thats just BS.. and She has bought groceries once since I have moved in.. All the other times Brandon and I have bought groceries thinking that we were supposed to buy them for ourselves and yet his mom and his little sister would eat all of our stuff... Seriously like I would write my name on my lunches for work (lean cuisines) and they would still get eaten.. I just dont know what to do. I am not the kind of person to rip someone off and I feel like what if she really feels like we owe her that money? I told Brandon, since it was his mom if he really feels like we owe her that money we will find a way to pay it... and he said "hell no."

I dont know what to do.. am I being a cheap bitch by not paying it, or is she trying to get $ out of us before we leave so that she can survive while we are gone.....

Argh. help?

xoxo.

kiki

Just thought I would give an update of whats been happening since I left vox in November.

• started a blog of my own... decided I wasnt ready for it and missed the community at vox.
• still living with my BF and his mom.. BUT we move into our very own apartment MARCH 7th!!!
• still working at the Dairy farm M-F and Sbux on the weekends... though not every weekend!
• numerous fights and petty arguments have led me to cut off ties with two very close friends. Our lives were going in completely different directions and I was tiresome of being the only one making an effort to keep our friendship afloat.
• slowly repairing the relationship with my step mom .. though I will never move back home  :)
• my brother (who has struggled with substance abuse) is living with a friend but remains secretive about his life and leads me to think he is still using.. I suppose I will never know.. they're very good liars those addicts.
• I dream daily of starting my own business and feel that once we move out I will start brainstorming.
• I am learning to eat better and pay more attention to what my body is telling me.. its a day to day struggle but I believe it may just save my life. 

So, I have missed all of you. I have a feeling I will be on vox quite a bit and sense my job allows me to have a lot of downtime that is an okay thing..

xoxo,

kiki

hi everyone. I am back! I had an old vox about 6 months ago, but regrettably left it to try to get my own blog up and running but decided I missed the community here at vox.

i will be posting more today but please add me to your friends list.. I would so love to reconnect with my old vox friends and meet some new ones too.

xoxo,

kiki